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Veggies Reimagined's avatar

Brilliant poem showcasing the duality of blossom and decay. It is the sad reality that many of us face, with each petal peeling away our spirits. The cost of creation, the way your husk is the centrepiece of someone else's celebration, and how the next time you bloom will be in darkness. It's a poignant reminder for me personally of the end of summer and the dawn of cold nights, also enjoyed the pollen reference since I'm a hayfever sufferer. Enjoyed both the surrealism, humanness and the seasonality of this beautiful poem.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Rasika❤️❤️❤️❤️ I really appreciate this beautiful message, thank you for taking the time to share such a thoughtful response. I’m glad the mix of beauty and heaviness came through, and I love that you connected it to the change of seasons too. 🖤 And the hay fever part actually made me laugh...same here girl 😂

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Johanna's avatar

This was absolutely beautiful, striking almost too true for what it feels like to give creation to others. Also, I saw Persephone walk through the gardens the entire time. I love her story dearly and the poem did not only the pain of creation but also her justice. Great work.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Johanna THANK YOU so much for the kind and thoughtful words ❤️ I loved that the imagery of walking through the garden came through, I thought a lot about the directionality of movement in this piece while writing it. I wanted the reader to feel this movement without exactly describing it. 🥀✨🖤🖤🖤

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Coral Evermore's avatar

Another gorgeous piece of work by you!! I loved the contrast between beauty and decay here. There’s so many unsettling lines about the pressures of worship. It also reminded me so much of Persephone. Beautifully done!!🌸

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House Von Veil's avatar

Coral ❤️❤️❤️ THANK YOU! I really appreciate that. The Persephone connection lingers in the background whenever I write about cycles, even if I don’t call her by name. Actually 2 one of the lines I wrote made me think of you, one was inspired by your publication name 😂❤️ "Everything grows around me. And inside me, something wilts." I was imagining the way roses bloom for others & what tale they might have internally. And the second line was inspired by a picture you posted of a rose on a grave ? "...roses bow to me as if I were their dead, laid out in a funeral home." 🖤🌸

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Coral Evermore's avatar

I love the myth of Persephone especially after doing a deep dive for a short story I wrote not too long ago!! I’m so fascinated by her persona as The Dread Queen especially. Also, wow, I didn’t those lines made you think of me!! Awww I freaking love that!! I did catch the wilting part and loved it. I’m so happy the picture inspired these gorgeous lines!! Truly honored😭❤️

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House Von Veil's avatar

Do you have that short story up on Substack? ❤️🌸 Would be curious to check it out..🖤

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Coral Evermore's avatar

It’s not, but I’ll probably post it soon!! In a couple of weeks maybe?? You’ll know which one it is😈

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Audrey's avatar

This is beyond brilliant and stunning...each line is so visceral 🤍

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House Von Veil's avatar

That really means a lot, thank you Audrey.🥲 I wasn’t sure if the intensity would come across or just feel heavy, so hearing that the lines felt visceral to you is appreciated ❤️

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Shubham Upman's avatar

Artfully written ❣️

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House Von Veil's avatar

Thank you so much, really appreciate the kind words! ❤️

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Phillip Slater's avatar

I’m always very jealous of writers who can shape poetry like this one. It’s simply beautiful.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Big Thank You Phillip! ❤️ I always feel like I’m just wrestling with the words, so hearing that it was appreciated by you, made my day!

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Andreae of the Seas's avatar

So powerful…the way beauty, worship, and duty become forms of violence…🥺

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House Von Veil's avatar

I wanted to show how even things we’re told are beautiful or sacred can still feel violent when they erase you. Thank you for seeing that in the poem Andreae ❤️❤️❤️

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Leo thee Lemon's avatar

Very beautifully written.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Thank you Leo for the love❤️

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Valentina's avatar

I’m impressed by how you use seasonal imagery almost like a plot device, the external bloom mirroring internal decay, tracking the speaker’s journey without a traditional narrative. Also love the way you shift between public perception and private suffering creating this haunting double vision, so we see both the world’s admiration and the speaker’s quiet decline at once. 💕💕💕

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House Von Veil's avatar

This is such a generous comment, thank you. 🖤 I’ve always been drawn to using the seasons almost like a skeleton for the poem, a way to show time passing without saying it outright. I'm so appreciative of the lovely words, it really keeps me going knowing people take the time out of their day to read my work and leave a message for me to find ❤️

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Connor J McClelland's avatar

Fantastic work. The flow of this is perfect. Dark and creative. It was hard to pick a favorite line but I love "My tears water all the ponds" and "Pollen fogs my lungs until every laugh is a choke,

every cough of dust." Loved reading this. Looking forward to more.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Connor thank you so much for this! ❤️ I’m really glad those lines stood out, they were tough to get right, so it means a lot to hear which parts spoke to you. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts, and I’m looking forward to sharing more soon.❤️

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Helen Higgins's avatar

This is stunning. All the way through, I kept thinking "This is Persephone... I'm sure this is Perspehone..." If it's not, then please ignore me. It's gorgeous writing, and so vividly descriptive.

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House Von Veil's avatar

Yes, it’s Persephone! Helen, I'm so glad you picked up on it. ❤️ I wanted to explore the part of her story that often gets overlooked...the suffocation in spring, when she’s forced to bloom for everyone else. We always focus on her descent, but I kept thinking about how violent the return can be too...talking like a true introvert 😂 That tension between worship and erasure felt important to put into her voice.🖤

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Helen Higgins's avatar

Ahhh I’m glad I got that right. I think it's a really interesting concept to explore, and you're absolutely the right person to do it. You’ve done it beautifully here. There definitely is a tension, and I think it's something that a lot of women might be able to resonate too, just not on Queen of the Underworld levels 🖤

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House Von Veil's avatar

Really appreciate you & this wonderful feedback ❤️ I agree, women do carry a lot of tension, in our minds, in our bodies. I'd like to think we’re all carrying fragments of the Queen of the Underworld within us, just at different scales.❤️

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